On Saturday, Oct 21st, 2017, Vera (one of our purple tags) arranged for me to meet with 2 guests to chat about the gospel. I was an unbeliever at that time. Edward and brother Pan from GCAC had a conversation with me and it really touched my heart.
Edward shared about his suffering from depression. I understood the pain and struggle which he experienced. My thirst to be healed was the same as his. However, I didn’t want to trade the healing for forcing myself to believe what I didn’t understand. I wanted to know God before I could trust Him.
They prayed for me and I decided to buy the book (Bible) to read. Actually, I always wanted to get a Bible. Because I suffered from depression, I used to sleep during daytime and I used to miss the office hours of the bookstore of the church. After this conversation, I decided to wake up no matter what happened. The day after our conversation would be Sunday and I could go to church to get a Bible.
However, friends of mine invited me to drink together. I thought if I drank with them, I would not be able to wake up the next day. My friends kept trying to persuade me to drink. In order to get along well with people, I used to join their drinking parties. This time, with extraordinary courage, I refused them. Then, I didn’t drink that night, but I still suffered from insomnia as usual. I was exhausted but I still set the alarm clock to wake myself up. Finally, I went to the bookstore of the church and I got a Bible.
Afterwards, during the time that I took FYCE classes, with prayer, our God healed my insomnia and anxiety. For the first time I experienced peace that I couldn’t describe with words. As a result, I made the decision to follow Jesus and be baptized in May 2018.
When I discovered one of my parents had an affair outside marriage, I felt my heart being torn apart. I was angry, ashamed, desperate and weak. I was sick and very uncomfortable. I stopped any connection with them and that situation lasted for a year and a half.
When I believed in Jesus, I learned about forgiveness. Not being able to forgive is sin and sin damaged my relationship with God. I really wanted to forgive because I didn’t want any sin to impact my relationship with Him.
I read stories in the Bible and other books. I learned about the damage of unforgiveness and I knew what to do. Forgive others and let God heal me. However, my heart was stubborn as a donkey that wouldn’t make a turn.
Then, I thought I could let it go when my spiritual life matured. I was full of hope at that time and I believed our God would be my peacemaker. However, I thought the process of forgiving would take a few years.
He is the God of miracles. On Oct 21st, He began His work in my family. That day during the worship, from Vincent’s sharing, I became aware that my parents brought shame to me. On my knees, I confessed my sin. Amy was nearby; she noticed and she prayed for me. I felt very warm at that moment; I prayed to our Father to help me to forgive my parents. Our Father opened my eyes to see that my parents were struggling with the pain of sin. They were bound by sin the same as I was.
Drops of tears came from my eyes. For more than one and a half years I tried to run away from this shame. That day, God touched me and moved me to connect with my parents. Before I could change my mind when my passion disappeared, I immediately made a date to meet them. We met naturally; I was filled with joy and I was relieved.
The next day when we met again, I noticed the anger and shame gradually disappeared. Our Lord strengthened my weakness. Thank you God that I could join this big family. There are so many spiritual elders that help me to grow. Obstacles of every stage in my life are breaking apart; the impossible is becoming possible. Praise our Lord! Thank you for grace and thanks for what He has done in my life.